Daughters EX

Ok so I get a phone call yesterday and its my daughters ex boyfriend. This is the same one that calls or text her 15 times a day or more either trying to make her get back with him, telling her how much he loves her, or calling her a bitch. He can go from one extreme to the other. The same one that was almost bordering on stalker, showing up at our next door neighbors hoping she would come out, driving past all the time, swerving to hit her car as she past him on the road (not that I think he was really going to hit her, I think he just did it to freak her out). Anyway, he needed a favor, he needed me to look up some phone numbers for him on the internet. For rehab. He had gone to court, and they told him he had to go to rehab. They gave him a few options of where he could check in. I am hoping and praying he goes and gets straight.

Let me give you a little back history. They had been together 3 1/2 years. And had been through A LOT in those 3 1/2 years. I won't get in to everything, out of respect for my daughter and her life. He in fact at one point ended up moving in with us. One big happy family, odd I know, I have told you we were unconventional. I know, and no one has to tell me that they were young (she is after all only 16 now, he is 18 now). See .... unconventional. But neither I or my husband could turn a blind eye as to what was happening, we are not stupid and were young once as well. We could not stop it from happening, no matter what we said, and would we rather them be sneaking around, in unsafe places? Going to parties, or drives down back roads, or whatever? Anyway, right or wrong ..... he lived with us .... for almost 2 years. His brothers would beat the crap out of him at home, his parents separated, his dad moved in with a girlfirend and he went with him, his mom was on the verge of losing their house, he was angry at her. He blamed her for allowing his brothers to kick his ass all the time (hes much younger then they are), he blamed her for the separation, he has always felt she put him last no matter the situation. Well then his parents got back together and it just turn in to a fiasco, and wallah ......... we ended up with a kid. So anyway .......

Through out the 3 1/2 years, he has always had some issues with drugs. Mostly weed, but there were occasions with other things as well. He has cheated on her, and used drugs often, and she of course, got sick of it. Thats not her style. She is really a pretty good kid. When she had enough, she meant it. He of course now, is regretting all of the past really, REALLY bad decisions he made back then, and has tried getting her back with promises, threats, tears whatever. We had heard he was taking bars (xanax) heavily since he had left. Drinking, heavily since he left. I don't know if its the drugs and alcohol keeping him fixated on her or what, but whatever it is, I am very glad that he is going to rehab. I think it will help fix a lot of his problems. Not only with the drugs, but through the counceling I am hoping he gets clean and can move on to a healthy life. He was and in fact is, like a son to us. Which is part of why this has been so hard on us all as a family.

My daughter is doing well since the breakup. She has a ton a friends now, something he I guess did not want her to have. She loves to go and do things and be active, something someone either high, or hungover, can't seem to find the energy to do. So she is moving on with her life! She laughs more now, and sometimes just acts silly, the way a young girl should. Its things like this that I notice more and more every day. Things that before had faded, and faded so slowly I didn't notice them. But they are coming back into her life now! And I am happy for her.

We are all hoping and praying that he goes on to rehab, sticks it out, and learns new ways of coping with lifes problems. We are truly wishing the best for him!